Bittersweet Forgiveness
by xxStayxx
Summary: Kim's married life was supposed to be perfect. She had a wonderful family and the woman she loved to sleep next to at night. But certain complications arise that make her wonder if she'll ever fell safe under her own roof. Shego vowed to protect Kim from evil, but what she didn't know is she was going to have to protect her from herself. AU Rated T for some mild violence. KIGO!


It had all started one spring evening after work.

_Kim sighed as shut the door to the house behind her and set her things near the pile of shoes and backpacks. _

_ "I'm home!" she called up, kicking aside a jacket that had been thrown to the floor. _

_ "Momma!" _

_ Three small children tumbled down the stairs, all hers and all crazy. The two girls were ahead of their younger brother, who tripped and fell in his attempt to get ahead of his sisters. _

_ "Kimmie! Shy-shy!" Kim scolded, despite the small smile twitching at the corner of her lips. "Look what you did to poor Drew!" _

_ Her son got up and frowned at his toes for a second, before looking up to his mother's warm green eyes and smiling at her. _

_ She laughed and gave him a hug, letting the two girls pile on as well. She breathed deeply in, loving their smell._

_ "Up!" Drew reached up his hands, demanding more attention. Kim picked him up and spun him around, relishing in the sound of his little kid giggles. She didn't think anything could spoil the moment. _

_ Suddenly the door slammed behind her, and a string of curses and grumblings told Kim her wife was home from her job hunt. From the certain phrases Shego was using, it didn't look like she had been successful._

_ When the pale-skinned woman saw her children were in the doorway, she stopped muttering, forced a painful smile and accepted the hugs of her kids. She gave her wife a quick kiss, then muttered something about a failed job interview, but Kim shot her a warning look. It wasn't exactly something one talks about in front of children._

_ "Can we go to Uncle Ron's house? He promised he would take us to the arcade!" Kimberly Monique Go whined, pulling her mother's sleeve gently. With big green eyes and black, wavy hair, she was the perfect 5 year old version of a Shego-Kim mixture, and how could Kim resist that face? _

_ "Okay, you can go," she agreed. Before the last word was out, the kids were running past their parents and out the door. Ron's house was only a few minutes away, so Kim wasn't too worried about them getting hurt. _

_ As soon as they were out of sight, Shego clutched at Kim desperately and started crying into her shoulder. This was an unusual show of emotion for the woman, and Kim was so shocked she simply stood there._

_ "We're losing the house, Kim," she sobbed. "I got the mail when I came home for lunch. They won't accept any more late payments."_

_ Kim's eyes narrowed. "I thought I told that guy that I would pay him next week."_

_ "He told me a different story."_

_ The building around them housed too many memories to simply let go. This is where Kim and Shego decided to have a kid. This is Kim and Shego's first house. It's where Kimmie was born; the two younger ones were born in the hospital. _

_ All of that couldn't be taken away because of a bad timed paycheck. _

_ Kim gritted her teeth. "I know I can do this. I'll talk to him about more interest. I'll take longer shifts. I can do some extra work, and maybe I can even get another job…"_

_ Shego looked at her, and Kim saw the brokenness in her eyes. She looked shattered. "Don't you get it Kim? You wouldn't _have _to do all that stuff if I could get a job. If I could find work. Why didn't I go to college like you told me to? I hate myself every day for that decision!"_

_ She banged her fist on the nearby table, the sound echoing through the emptiness. Kim just stared at her blankly. Shego had never expressed anything like this before. _

_ "You can't blame yourself. There's just not as much work anymore…"_

_ "I can blame myself all I want, Kimberly." _

_ Kim winced at the use of her full name: Shego must be very mad. "Calm down, Shego!"_

_ "I can't!"_

_ The black-haired woman screamed, turning and swinging wildly at her own wife. She missed, but her nail scraped against Kim's cheek and left a gash. _

_ The red-head put up a hand to the wound and looked at Shego, a spark of fear now in her eyes._

_ "Momma! Mom! Look what Unkee Won gave me!" _

_ Drew appeared, and, as a two-year old, didn't seem to notice the tension in the air. He put up his hands and proudly showed off his new prize: a frog._

_ Kim shrieked at once, startled out of her shock by the sight. "Ew, Drew! Get that out of here!"_

_ Shego smirked. "I keep forgetting that one of the most dangerous woman police officers I know is afraid of little animals. Sheesh Princess, it's not going to kill you."_

_ Kim ignored the woman and simply pointed outside. Drew ducked his head down and left the room. _

_ "Kimmie…" Shego started. _

_ Kim turned and walked away, blood trickling down her cheek, mingling with the tears she was trying to hide. _

That day would be etched in her memory forever. She remembered how it wasn't even a big deal after a while. They had finally talked about it, and Shego had apologized, and all had been fine. It wasn't supposed to happen again, especially not ten years later when everything had been completely forgotten.

_"Mother!" Kim groaned at the woman across from her, who was standing with her hands planted firmly on her hips, a displeased scowl etched on her face. "But it's not even a date! It's just a hang out! I'm fifteen!"_

_ "I don't like it. That boy looks dangerous," Shego argued, pointing outside the window where a very confused boy stood at the door, after having knocked multiple times._

_ "He's the pastor's son, a straight A student, and the class president!" Kim exclaimed, exasperated. "Mom said I could go!"_

_ "She…what?!" One of Shego's eyes twitched. "Kim said you could go!"_

_ "Yes!" her daughter said triumphantly. _

_ "KIM!" Shego screeched up the stairs. "GET DOWN HERE, PLEASE!"_

_ "Stop yelling, I'm on the phone!" 13 year-old Shyanne Anne Go called from her bedroom, before going back to giggling. Her brother, who was across the hall, was too busy playing his new game station to care._

_ Kim appeared quickly, although she looked hesitant. "What's going on here? Kimmie, aren't you supposed to be out with Ethan?"_

_ "Yes! Thanks, Mom! By Mother, I'll tell you how it goes!" Their daughter waved goodbye and flew out the door before Shego could protest._

_ Kim tried to slink back to her room, but Shego noticed immediately. "Get back here, Kim! We need to talk about this!"_

_ "What is there to talk about?" she finally sighed, succumbing to the conversation. "Kimmie is a beautiful young girl who should be exploring her options. By that age, you were…"_

_ "…stupid and making a lot of stupid decisions," Shego finished for her. "I don't want her doing the same thing."_

_ "And she won't! I think it's time we need to let her go," Kim smiled as she watched the boy open the door for her daughter. "Look, he's a gentleman! She'll be fine!"_

_ "No she won't! You don't understand!" Shego's voice was raising. She was getting herself worked up._

_ "What don't I understand?" Kim asked in a more quiet tone, hoping it would settle her wife down. Shego simply looked at her._

_ "You don't understand."_

_ Kim shook her head and tried to brush past her, but she stumbled and accidentally shoved Shego in an effort to catch her balance. That was her mistake._

_ Without thinking, Shego shoved the woman back and gave her a square punch on the jaw. A loud crack resounded, and Kim lay on the floor, hurt._

_ "Oh my gosh, Princess… what did I do to you?" Shego's eyes cleared from her rage and she looked down on the woman with tears swimming in her eyes. "What did I do?"_

_ Kim got up and walked to the freezer without a word, one hand on her jaw. She got out a bag of frozen peas and pressed in gingerly to the forming bruise on the side of her face. With one hurt look to Shego, she made her way upstairs and locked herself in her study. She didn't come out for a week._

In the end, they had worked it out. It was like every other fight. They would be mad. They would yell. They would argue. But in the end, Kim always forgave. It wasn't only her nature, but it was also what her heart was telling her to do. They could get through this, she thought. And maybe she was right. But after that, things started to get worse, and that's when the real issues started popping up.

_Shego came home by slamming the door and kicking the coat closet with enough force to leave a dent. Kim knew she had a bad day, and she had prepared for it by making hot tea and buying her wife a bouquet of flowers._

_ "Hey, you're home," Kim said softly when Shego came into the dining room, where she was. "I got you a surprise!" _

_ Shego looked over the flowers and the tea and smiled. "You always know what can calm me down."_

_ "What happened today?"_

_ The black-haired woman's face darkened. "I got fired."_

_ Kim tried to hide her immediate worries with a comforting smile. "Don't worry, that job was a really great reference to have on applications. You can get another one."_

_ "Another job hunt? The last time I went through this, it took a year and us almost losing this house to get us back on our feet and towards retirement. Button, I don't like the thought of you having to go through all of that again."_

_ Kim didn't exactly think it was going to be fantastic, but she tried to be upbeat about it. "Well, you still have me."_

_ Shego looked up suddenly, a strange light in her eyes. "Yes, I have you. And you better not leave me."_

_ "Of course I won't leave you!" Kim laughed nervously, hiding her fear of that light. _

_ Shego got up from her chair. "Oh really? You think it's funny? Are you planning some thought against me right now? Am I going to come home tomorrow to find the house packed and the kids gone? Huh?"_

_ Kim shook her head, not wanting to speak in fear that it would only ignite Shego's anger. It was too late for that. _

_ Shego stormed past Kim, shoving her wife off the chair and onto the floor as she went. Kim's head hit the linoleum. _

_ She was still lying there when the kids got home from school. She couldn't move, all she could do was hear an ear-piercing shriek as Kimmie found her mom nearly unconscious. The other kids soon appeared, and they quickly got to work: helping her back into the chair and reviving her with cold water. Shyanne pressed an ice-pack to her mom's head, and Drew ran upstairs to get some ibuprofen._

_ "What happened?" Kimmie pressed, drying off the moisture from Kim's face._

_ "I fell," Kim replied lamely. She wanted to cry into her daughter's shoulder like a child, but she had to keep it together. For her kids. _

Then it became a daily thing. Kim would get home from patrol and eat her snack, waiting silently for her wife. Thirty minutes later, Shego would show up. She had gotten a job as a fast-food server, and it did nothing to calm her nerves. The black-haired woman would slam the door behind her and storm into the dining room, where she would find her wife doing a crossword puzzle or simply staring into space.

They would have a normal conversation at first, but in the end, Shego always just fell to pieces. And soon it was like a game. Kim got to guess what would set her off next, or how long she would have to get hurt for Shego to realize what she was doing. That was the scary part… she didn't. She would become herself after she had finally started calming down, and she would always turn and walk away in some kind of shocked trance.

Kim didn't know what to do. Her wife was the only person she could love. She was still in love with her. Besides, the only time she was a bad spouse was during the abuse, but Kim could hide the bruises if it meant she could still stay with Shego. She knew she still loved her, and she knew Shego felt the same way.The only problem was, it was getting harder and harder to hide the bruises.

_"I hate Algebra," Drew grumbled as he crossed out another wrong answer. Kim just chuckled at him and brushed a stray hair behind his ear._

_ "You'll get it soon, baby, just concentrate on the formula and plug in the numbers. It's not as hard as you make it out to be."_

_ He shot her a dirty look before returning his gaze to the math book. "You're supposed to be helping me, not giving me moral support."_

_ "Alright, alright!" _

_ Kim reached over to turn the page, and her sleeve rolled up as she did so. Drew's eyes widened when he saw something on her arm. "What's that?"_

_ She pulled her arm back quickly. Too quickly if she didn't want him suspicious. "It's nothing, honey."_

_ "Um, you have a giant purple bruise on your arm and that's nothing?" He looked at her, concern in his dark green eyes. _

_ "I bumped it… on the counter top when I was cooking yesterday," Kim lied through her teeth, hating the situation. _

_ "Oh…"_

Many other problems followed. Things that Kim thought would eventually go away, problems that could end up solved. But as time passed, and the kids moved out, Kim didn't know how much longer she could take it. But she didn't know that this is what it would come to.

Dear Princess,

Don't expect to find me in the house. I am probably long gone by now. Before you think it's your fault, please read further. I love you. I will never stop loving you. And that's why I have to leave. I can't keep hurting you and living with myself at the same time. It's not getting any better. Tell the kids I love them.

Yours forever,

Shego


End file.
